Novels Review

Cover Snark: Everyone Has Headaches

Written by ibxis

Welcome back to Cover Snark, friends!

From Janet: Is that a TOILET behind her? And has she just flushed her head down it (wet hair)?

Sarah: Oh, no. That’s unfortunate.

And now every time I see one of these cover models with her skirts hiked up, I’m going to think, oh, did she just use the toilet, too? Let the poor person dress in peace.

Claudia: Hm, that does bring to mind the details of historical romance I’d rather not think about, LOL

Carrie: Bidets Gone Wild

Tara: Carrie wins the internet today.

Sarah: I just showed it to Adam without commentary and he asked almost immediately

“…Is she pooping?”

Elyse: Rich says her face looks more like she’s trying not to poop.

Sneezy: Lady, leaving your skirts under your ass isn’t the magic spell to not poop like you think it is.

A Scot is Not Enough by Gina Conkle.  A historical clinch cover.  The hero has his shirt unbuttoned, but his chest looks like cardboard.  The woman is blonde and in a green dress.  Her face may have been pasted on.

Amanda: Something is wrong here

His chest looks 2D

Tara: Why is the hair growing only directly between his chesticles?

Elyse: He needs to see doctor nips.

Amanda: PAGING DOCTOR NIPS!

Maya: I can’t stop staring at her neck

Why is it?

Claudia: Is he supposed to look like Keanu?

Carrie: She looks like she’s presenting her breasts on a platter, like one of those Renaissance paintings of Saint Agatha.

Tara: Also, to me, her face looks likes a real person’s but his is giving me this kind of a vibe.

Sneezy: The dude looks like a dress up paper doll that thought he could make it in the 3D world, only his inflation procedure didn’t go well. That makes the gal his dealer maybe?

Innovation's Muse by Allyson Lindt.  A shirtless and tattooed man is glowing green.  We just see his muscular back.  His hands are at the base of his neck, pulling upward, like he's trying to remove his own head.

From Pam G: I know it’s not easy being green, but WHERE IS HIS HEAD?

Sarah: Yanked his own head clear off his neck like a Barbie doll

Pam G: He’s unscrewing it, isn’t he?

AJ: As a person who gets migraines number one is extremely relatable. I too have attempted to yank my own head off.

Amanda: Hard same, AJ. My body likes to give me PMS migraines now. A recent, fun and exciting new development!

Sneezy: I don’t suppose you can ask a manager for an exchange on that, Amanda.

Experiment B4HR by Miranda Martin.  Another back to us cover model.  They have luscious wavy hair and what looks to be a scorpion tail.

From Karen: These covers totally creep me out. I really hate insects, especially ones that can kill me, and while I might be able to read a book about the same, seeing a scorpion depicted on the cover makes me cringe.

Sarah: I totally flinched when this appeared on my screen.

Elyse: There’s not enough Raid in the world for that situation

Amanda: I can’t tell if the bug person is a buff lady or a man with gorgeous hair or you know, a non binary bug being who just went to the salon. Self-care is important!

Sneezy: Is that a fish or a lizard or a scorpion or a spider??? Gross!!!!

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ibxis

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