Welcome back to Cover Snark, friends!
From Janet: Is that a TOILET behind her? And has she just flushed her head down it (wet hair)?
Sarah: Oh, no. That’s unfortunate.
And now every time I see one of these cover models with her skirts hiked up, I’m going to think, oh, did she just use the toilet, too? Let the poor person dress in peace.
Claudia: Hm, that does bring to mind the details of historical romance I’d rather not think about, LOL
Carrie: Bidets Gone Wild
Tara: Carrie wins the internet today.
Sarah: I just showed it to Adam without commentary and he asked almost immediately
“…Is she pooping?”
Elyse: Rich says her face looks more like she’s trying not to poop.
Sneezy: Lady, leaving your skirts under your ass isn’t the magic spell to not poop like you think it is.
Amanda: Something is wrong here
His chest looks 2D
Tara: Why is the hair growing only directly between his chesticles?
Elyse: He needs to see doctor nips.
Amanda: PAGING DOCTOR NIPS!
Maya: I can’t stop staring at her neck
Why is it?
Claudia: Is he supposed to look like Keanu?
Carrie: She looks like she’s presenting her breasts on a platter, like one of those Renaissance paintings of Saint Agatha.
Tara: Also, to me, her face looks likes a real person’s but his is giving me this kind of a vibe.
In 2016 we hired a photographer claiming he was the ‘master of light’ to do our company headshots.
An expert in photoshop… pic.twitter.com/klaYjvixku
— Joe Pohlen (@joepohlen) January 25, 2022
Sneezy: The dude looks like a dress up paper doll that thought he could make it in the 3D world, only his inflation procedure didn’t go well. That makes the gal his dealer maybe?
From Pam G: I know it’s not easy being green, but WHERE IS HIS HEAD?
Sarah: Yanked his own head clear off his neck like a Barbie doll
Pam G: He’s unscrewing it, isn’t he?
AJ: As a person who gets migraines number one is extremely relatable. I too have attempted to yank my own head off.
Amanda: Hard same, AJ. My body likes to give me PMS migraines now. A recent, fun and exciting new development!
Sneezy: I don’t suppose you can ask a manager for an exchange on that, Amanda.
From Karen: These covers totally creep me out. I really hate insects, especially ones that can kill me, and while I might be able to read a book about the same, seeing a scorpion depicted on the cover makes me cringe.
Sarah: I totally flinched when this appeared on my screen.
Elyse: There’s not enough Raid in the world for that situation
Amanda: I can’t tell if the bug person is a buff lady or a man with gorgeous hair or you know, a non binary bug being who just went to the salon. Self-care is important!
Sneezy: Is that a fish or a lizard or a scorpion or a spider??? Gross!!!!
