Novels Review

Cover Snark: Have They Started Repeating?

Written by ibxis

Hey hey! It’s Cover Snark day!

Elyse: Sunshine dog redux

Amanda: The dog started me

Tara: I really want the dog to be a soundrel too.

Sarah: Can I steal the dog? The humans I can take or leave.

Elyse: I can personally attest to the fact that brachycephalic dogs produce so much gas and those people are making out in a room full of dog farts

Sneezy: Hahahahaa I was just lolling at how RANDOM the dog is, and you just made the picture so much better Elyse.

Unless that’s actually a paper cut out of a dog, in which case holy shit why would they curse themselves like that.

Taking Vengeance by Kaylea Cross.  A black and white cover with red accents for emphasis.  A woman's hands are scratching at a man's torso.  She also holds a red rose in her hands.  Two daggers are crossed right about the man's crotch.

From Sarah: “I have *so many questions*”

Sarah: I too am a Sarah, and I too have many, many questions.

Carrie: Far be it from me to kink shame! What happens between consenting adults is all good! However, PERSONALLY, castration isn’t my thing – and nonjudgement here but I don’t think those blades are sterile at ALL.

Susan: My brain interpreted the dot over the i as another knife and I’m just there like “Three? That seems excessive”

Amanda: My brain went to a “crossing swords” reference. And wow, really hope the thorns were cut off that stem.

Sneezy: The dimpling made by the right hand makes me feel like the torso is actually made of some sort of plasty.

Alien Architect Needs a Nanny by Tasha Black.  A shirtless cat man looks series as he holds an uncanny valley cat toddler complete with red ears and striped red tail.  The background is a moon and a futuristic city.

From Jen W and also Jen and also Jennifer (not even joking): Zomg. This cover has IT ALL: terrible photoshop, models who clearly don’t want to be there, inexplicable glowing veins, and MORE. It’s a gift and I can’t stop giggling.

Sarah: I am every single boggled, confused, and baffled gif ever made, all at once.

Carrie: Well, he clearly does need a nanny, I mean that baby is obviously in charge and you know that man gives the baby candy every time a tantrum looms.

Sarah: But with the pecs, and the ears, and the hair…he’s kind of like a cat tree for babies, though, right?

Sneezy: Drawing Nyan-kuns is an art. The placement of ears is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!!

That doesn’t say Nyan-kun to me. That says shitty headband. I am an avid Defender of Nyan-kuns, you impostor!!!!

AJ: I am making noises that are scaring the cat.

Which is ironic considering the dude on that cover looks like someone is doing the same thing to him.

Amanda: Baby fingernails are sharp enough without them needing to be part cat.

Between His Lover and the Deep Blue Sea by Merry Farmer.  A man with his button down shirt getting blown open stands on a beach.  A ship is in the background.  What's concerning is the disembodied hand reaching out for his pec.

Amanda: Definitely thought that was his own hand

Susan: I saw your comment before the picture and STILL thought it was his hand

Tara: My first thought was “Why is there a ship if it’s about a merry farmer?”

Sarah: Everything about him proportionally is making me head tilt.

AmandaHe also reminds me – in the face – of the Castiel actor

Claudia: I feel we’ve done that one?

That arm of doom is familiar.

Susan: I think there was one like this but maybe with a mermaid

Amanda: Bitchery, have we done this one? Is everything blurring together into one big Cover Snark amalgamation?

Sneezy: At first I thought the L was a T, and now I think it’s not a letter but someone leaving secret codes about his junk.

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