It’s time for her ladyship and I to recap The Courtship.
Me: Now, Pudding, you’re going to be good today and not yell out the window at the kids walking home from school, right?
Pudding: …Of course, Mother.
Over at the Suitor’s House the dudes talk about the possibility of proposing to Nicole at the end of the show. Mr. Chapman admits the idea scares him “shitless.” Mr. Nazaire is not impressed and isn’t sure why Mr. Chapman is there then.
The Daily Tea is delivered and we learn there’s going to be a festival of strength.
Mr. Cones says, “Lets go gather our ointments!”
Everyone assembles outdoors and the dudes remove their shirts. Mr. Cones bemoans his lack of abs.
Pudding: I thought all Regency heroes acquired six packs and Adonis belts from riding horses and boxing at their clubs?
Nicole looks at the guys and says, “You guys look like the wolf pack from Twilight.”
They aren’t wearing jorts, Nicole.
First up they have to lift a 150 lb stone ball onto a barrel.
Pudding: Lift with your back!
“Holy shit!” Mr. Chapman shouts as he probably gives himself a hernia.
Mr. Judge (who is a wrestling coach) has no issues with the challenge. Everyone makes it, even Mr. Cones who nearly drops the ball on his feet.
Next up they have to hold a carved log over their heads for as long as possible.
As Mr. Nazaire and Mr. Chapman stare each other down, logs hoisted above them, our host snarks, “You don’t have to kiss, but it helps.”
Mr. Hunter and Mr. Nazaire have the longest times so they face off for a date with Nicole. Mr. Nazaire wins, and he and Nicole enjoy a picnic and a kiss.
He tells Nicole about Mr. Chapman was discussing not being ready for an engagement which concerns her because she got the opposite vibe from him.
Later Nicole confronts Mr. Hunter about having walls up. He admits that he has a hard time being vulnerable.
Later Nicole invites Mr. Bochicchio to a date at the Regency “spa.” They sip champagne next to two claw foot bathtubs and he admits that watching her date other guys is hard for him, but also that he doesn’t want to rush into an engagement.
Nicole says, “You literally told me at the masquerade ball that you would propose. Are you just going back on what you said?”
“I’m not,” he says.
“Well, you are, because you said that you would,” she points out, irritated.
“What’s the rush?” he asks. “I’m rooting for us, I’m working for us. I won’t lie to you.”
Nicole says she appreciates the honestly but he needs to be careful about what he says. Then they take a bath together. She’s wearing a shift and he’s still got pants on.
PuddingWhich defeats the purpose of a bath.
Then he says, “I do see life after this with you.”
STOP WAFFLING FFS!
The next morning, Nicole goes to the Suitor’s House for the first time. She wants to confront Mr. Chapman about his comments about getting engaged.
Mr. Chapman admits that he’s “scared shitless” about commitment and giving up his van lifestyle. He says he’s falling in love with Nicole, but he doesn’t want to slow down.
Nicole gets teary eyed. “I feel so stupid.”
“I think you and I can be the most in love, but I don’t think I can give you the life you want,” he admits.
Nicole says she needs a minute and gets up to leave. She goes back to the castle where Miss Cleary and Mrs. Baker comfort her.
Mr. Chapman tells the other dudes that he felt pressure because Nicole was falling for him, and then goes to “process” things alone.
Then it’s time for the Farewell Ball. On the dance card are Mr. Chapman, Mr. Cones and Mr. Hunter.
Nicole tells Mr. Cones that she feels like she doesn’t really know him. He tells her that she’s strong and beautiful. He stays.
She tells Mr. Hunter that she worries that he can’t open up to her. He tells her he isn’t afraid of commitment and he wants that with her, but Nicole isn’t convinced and asks him to leave.
Then she dances with Mr. Chapman.
Pudding: The scum.
He says he didn’t leave early because he thinks he needs to grow up and see this through, which I am not sure is a very reassuring statement.
Nicole says, “You broke my heart today. You absolutely broke my heart. I didn’t even know how I was going to make it here today, I’m not kidding.”
He says he apologizes for hurting her with his own personal issues.
“I really feel like what we have is real,” she says.
He says, “I’m promise you, I’m all in.”
Nicole lets him stay.
And that’s it. Are you watching?